Hello Everyone!
So much has happened since our last letter, so we will try to sum it up as quickly as we can (which is probably not that quick!). We have been here for 3.5 months and have already experienced so much. We love our time here and all we are learning! The past months have gone by quickly, with a lot going on. I got sick the week after our anniversary and ended up in the hospital for a week with pneumonia. That was an experience in itself, not a good one. The hospitals here are not so good and the care is quite bad. There are two hospitals in our town, one free government (which is terrible!) and a private one. I was at the private one and my doctor was decent, but the nurses were horrible. There is very much a racial thing here between the blacks, whites, and coloureds, and it is apparent. Every nurse was black and I was the only white person in the hospital, and I was very much treated that way. I was always served last and ignored, etc. All my nursing major roomies would cringe at the quality of care and how they do things here. No one wore gloves or used any precautionary measures. Words can’t really explain how it is until you experience it (not something I would suggest). I almost asked them if Dave could put my IV in because they had no idea what they were doing and I was sure they would slice me open. Dave could only visit me during specific times, which were few and far between. I was quite scared when he had to leave me the first night. I always slept with one eye open. It REALLY makes me appreciate the amazing care we receive in the states, it’s just wonderful. All of my nurse friends are amazing!!! It was a very long and hard week, so I was very excited to get home. I had to take a few weeks off from the school and about a month from the orphanage. I couldn’t be around the kids at the orphanage because they were too sick and I couldn’t risk it. I am now back everywhere, but still struggling with my lungs. Some days are better than others.
We touched some on the culture here in our last email, but it is so complex and quite hard to explain. There is a lot of racism between the blacks, whites, and coloureds (white black mix)-all parties being guilty. We understand that some people at home are shocked that we refer to the races by their color, but that is how things are here. People say things how they are and no one is ashamed to identify themselves by color. Dave was explaining to one of Jed’s workers that in America we are “white” but that black people are “African American.” He said “They are not African, they are black Americans. Why do you say such a thing? I am the African.” We tried to explain how things need to be politically correct and his response was “you guys make things too difficult.”
To understand the vibes here you need to understand their history with Apartheid and their current government. To sum it up: Apartheid was in place for many years where the whites ruled and the blacks were not counted or registered. In 1994 Nelson Mandela became the first black president and gave way for the blacks to take over. He was a peaceful man and all races respected him, but unfortunately the men since him have been quite corrupt and have actually made the racism worse. We are not saying that all blacks and whites hate each other, because that is not true. We get along with all of Jed's workers very well and enjoy them very much. They are very kind to us. But, it is uncommon for most blacks and whites to be in real relationships with each other. The man under Dave in Jed’s company, Sepho, is a black man and we have developed a relationship with him. He just shared with Dave last week that he gets slack for associating Dave and I as friends, because we are white. Some black people hate it when you are friends with a white and some white hate it if you are friends with a black. Dave and I have the privilege of seeing the situation objectively and understanding both sides.
There is a definite cultural difference between the blacks and whites, especially with tradition. A few weeks ago Dave was working with a co-worker (a black man) and he asked Dave “How much you pay your wife’s dad for her?” Dave was questioning what he was getting at until he said “How many cows is she worth?” He was quite serious! Dave laughed, hard, and then tried to explain that he didn’t have to pay anything for me, just for the ring. The man said “wow you got off lucky.” The black culture has something called “Libola”, where they have to pay cows to their father-in-laws for their wives. The amount can range from 2 to 70! The workers wife was “worth” 7 ;) Things are definitely different here!!! Every single day we are reminded that we are far from the states!
Dave and I have had some amazing experiences, but are favorites so far have definitely been bringing orphans home. We brought a girl named Linamandla (Lina for short) home a week before I got sick. It was the most amazing weekend. She captured my heart the first day I visited the home and we both knew she would be our first. I love all the kids but not all of them grip your heart like others do. She is one who does! Lina is about 3.5 and the cutest thing you have ever seen. She has had very traumatic things happen already in her life so we questioned if she would be ok away for the weekend, but she was great and it changed us so much. When the house mom told her she was leaving, she leapt into Dave’s arms and screamed “bye bye!” to everyone. She was the happiest girl in the world. We took her to the grocery store and bought all kinds of kids stuff, toys, food, shampoo, etc. She speaks no English, but it didn’t even matter. There were only a few time we needed to know what she wanted, but God worked it out. We took her to a job site and put her on the tractor, we danced (man can she move), played, and had the best weekend. Loving Lina is about the easiest thing to do on this earth, but seeing what she goes through daily is about the hardest thing. She was always shocked when we didn’t yell at her for things and was amazed at how she was loved. You have never been around a better behaved and perfect child. When we took her back on Sunday (all dressed in her new CLEAN clothes) we left there with our hearts sunk. She had struggled with a deep cough in her lungs that weekend, but we treated her with meds and she was doing well. When I returned to the orphanage the following week she was very sick, dressed in boys clothes, dirty, and they had shaved her head. The girls’ hair is always very short (a bit above the scalp) but you can at least tell they are girls. They shaved their heads bald and I cried. The girls were screaming and crying because they want their hair, it makes them feel like a normal child, helps them blend in. You can now tell they are orphans and everyone can see it. Lina was in bad shape, but I knew we couldn’t do anything. That week I got very sick and had to be away for some time.
When I returned to the orphanage the kids were so excited and I was so happy to be with them. I still need to be careful and take a little better care of myself so I don’t end up in the hospital again. Right now there is some bad ringworm going around on the kids. The poor things, really. If they are not sick with one thing it’s the next. Through all their sickness, they are perfect. I very much enjoy my time with them! I just wish we spoke the same language. Dave and I are trying to look into if there is a class we can take somewhere. Their language is SO hard to learn because there are clicks, clacks, pops, and things we can not even make our mouths do. You have never heard such a thing!
We brought a little boy home this weekend and had such an awesome time! He is one Dave has wanted to bring home for a long time. We agreed that my lungs were healthy enough to have another go. His name is Dondre. He is 11 years old and is HIV positive. He has the body of a 7 year old, so he is quite small. He is very healthy for having HIV as long as he takes his meds. He is VERY active and full of lots of energy. Because of his sickness not many people pay attention to him, but he is SUCH a joy! Dondre is one of the only ones at the orphanage who speaks English, so it was great to not have the language barrier. I have been working with him in reading since I have been there and he is progressing quite well. A few weeks ago Dave and I bought him a book, and he could not be prouder to OWN a book. I read it to him most every day. Our weekend was so great! We picked him up on Friday and he was SO EXCITED! We told him we would take him out to eat anywhere he wanted, so he picked a restaurant like Applebee’s. He had never been to such a place! We bought him some new clothes to change into and then went. There was a children’s play area with a trampoline and he was in heaven. He could finally be a kid. I really struggle with Dondre on being kind to others and not acting bossy, because he tries to act older, but this weekend he was able to be a real kid and let go of that front. Eating with him was so funny, because they only eat with their hands and VERY FAST (so the other kids won’t steal their food). Dave made him take a break because he thought he might get sick. It was so cute, because he would try to copy us eating with a fork and knife. Dave assured him it was ok, and he was just smiling ear to ear. The next day he went to work with Dave for bit and got to ride in a tractor, see cows, mountains, etc. (all of which he had never seen before). Dave took him on a dirt bike ride and you have never seen a kid smile so big. We took him to a watch a rugby game at the restaurant, which was a real stretch for some people. We were quite nervous about this because people do not receive very well that Dave and I bring these kids home. When we were out shopping we had a white lady look at us with disgust and a loud “ugh!” There is so much of the past that adults are hanging on to here that affects children as well. It makes us sick.
I’m still at the school but will probably not be after December, which is the end of the school year for them. I love teaching the kids, but don’t feel that is our whole purpose of being here. Dave and I feel we are here to bring life to the orphans and suffering. I do love them all, just feel called other places than the school. I am very thankful for my experiences at the school as it has taught me to handle situations better and has helped shape me. I’ll let you know what happens.
Some very frightening strikes were occurring here in the school systems and hospitals. The school I teach at is a private school so we did not have to close, but all the government and farm schools were closed for some time. Not only were they closed there were fights and crazy things happening. The teachers went on strike to get more money and were doing anything to get it. If a school in town would not close, teachers from other schools would go on the property and start beating up teachers AND KIDS! Many of you may think these are exaggerations, but I promise it is reality here. In a town close to here school kids were shot at because rioters saw them in school uniform (all schools in SA have uniform, whether poor or wealthy). Kids were getting hurt, were not being educated, and having to suffer because adults are acting like children. Most teachers in government schools are known for this type of behavior and really not taking their jobs seriously. Teachers, especially at the farm schools, hit kids to make them behave. It’s such a different world. Everyone is back in school now, but because the kids missed so much it is actually becoming a problem for the seniors to finish their work. Things were so bad for awhile that it was a little scary to go to school. We had a staff meeting and decided that since we were private it should not affect us, but it is out in the country, so the teachers were discussing plans on how to get authorities out there quickly if something should happen. NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE A PART OF A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT! We take so much for granted in the states! I never thought about my safety in school, never. We did have to assemble all the kids last minute and make sure they all wore normal clothes to school for a few days so that they would not be identified in their uniforms. So much craziness! Fortunately, all the schools are going again and the kids are safe.
When things were really heating up many government hospitals closed. This was a real crisis because there was not enough room in the private hospitals and they will only see you if you have insurance. All because people wanted paid a LITTLE more, five people died. Two infants and three adults died because as they showed up to the hospitals people refused to treat them until they had more money. PEOPLE DIED. It’s so sad to see some of the things that happen here. I can’t imagine anyone getting refused treatment in the states. Because of the school and hospital strikes other people were catching on and refusing to work as well. At a gas station in town the workers stopped working until they were paid $.10 more (10 cents people!!). The problem is that the government has now promised this money but they do not have most of it.
So much corruption takes place in the government here but it is even worse in Zimbabwe. SA is having a real illegal immigrant problem with them and is trying to sort that our. Dave and I know 3 people from there and it is just not discussed if they are illegals or not. So many bad things are happening in Zimbabwe, it’s a real problem. The president is taking over all the white farms and kicking people off their land, ordering murders and rapes on all races, and everyone is too afraid to do anything about it. The lady I teach with is originally from Zimbabwe, but grew up most of her life in SA. Her sister met a man from there and they returned to reside there. They owned a gas station and a bakery that did quite well. Friends of theirs in a town near by owned a bakery and the government came in and put them on house arrest and took over their business. They were locked into their home and the women and children were rapped. Leanne’s (the woman I teach with) sister and husband heard of this and knew they were next. They fled to New Zealand and have lived there ever since (for some reason many Zimbabweans fled to New Zealand, especially the whites). They had to leave their entire lives, business, and everything behind. So much corruption is happening in Africa and we never hear about at home. It’s real and very scary.
Fortunately we got rid of our mouse problem and now have a lot of bugs! I think the cockroaches are on steroids here! We live right along a river and the mosquitoes are supposed to be getting bad this summer (we are in spring right now. The weather is so wonderful!! We love it). Everyone is warning us that we are going to get eaten alive (there is a mosquito net loop above our bed), but we are implementing some of our American luxuries and making screens for the windows. People have never heard of such a thing here, but instead sleep with mosquito nets (doesn’t make a ton of sense to me). Sometimes is great to be American! We think our plan will work great, we just hope it keeps all the spiders out too (I have killed more spiders in our home here than I have my entire life!). God has given us a lot of grace in this area and we are very thankful for that. Even though we share our home with many critters, we still love it. It’s not everyday you get to live in a mud house! The view we have in each direction from our home is enough to be satisfied with a hole in the ground.
There are the most amazing places here, really extreme beauty. It is the most incredible place in land and culture. We enjoy the simplicity of life here and they array of differences. There are so many interesting things about each culture that you come to appreciate and love. God could not have brought us to a closer place to our hearts. We love the kids and can celebrate the differences between all the cultures. We are proud to have both black and white people in our lives here regardless of what some may think. We have had such an opportunity to grow and expand our faith, love, and knowledge. God has given us such a heart to understand the history, culture, and government here. There is beauty in seeing with bigger eyes and getting out of you comfort zone (although it is not always pleasant). I am so thankful that I now have more knowledge about SA and who the people are here. We pray that God gives us eyes to see and ears to hear these people’s hearts.
There is so much opportunity here for everything: jobs, missions, simplicity, etc. There is a lot of opportunity for the both of us here and we are quite thankful for that. There are also wonderful things like being only 1.5 hours from the Indian Ocean. We got the privilege of spending our one year anniversary in a beautiful place overlooking the ocean. Things like that are much cheaper and much more accessible. We sometimes take a day trip to relax at the ocean. It’s a lot of fun.
Dave and I are trying to push ourselves to experience things outside of our box as much as possible, but I think I pushed a little too far for me. I may have mentioned before that the food here is MUCH rougher than in the states (the meat, etc.) Not one part of the animal goes unused. Shane (Jenna’s father) was making a common dish for the men around here and invited us to it. We went and ate sheep’s head and sheep GUTS! The head was not terrible, but the guts were the worst thing I have ever had in my entire life. I almost puked! Dave could tolerate it, but I’m telling you it was so bad. Yuck! I guess we can at least say we tried it.
We are 3.5 months into our trip and looking forward to seeing what lies ahead. We pray that God will use us and that we can adapt to whatever comes our way.
We hope this meets you all doing well!
Many blessings
Dave and Molly
